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To deal with angst I channeled it into a pretentious play, enjoy!

Dinner, Gallery, and a Self Destructive portrait of the ART and the ARTIST

by. Steven Harmon
//Scene 1
FATHER
Are you alright?
IST
Fine.
FATHER
You weren't yourself last night.
IST
Was I?
FATHER
You seemed sad… bitter.
IST
I was tired, angsty, teenage stuff.
FATHER
Mother had to force you to eat some soup.
IST
I was busy.
FATHER
I just-
IST
I know. Fine, honestly; just tired, that's all.

//Scene 2
ART
LOOK AT ME!!!
Look at how I move. [ART is stationary] I can dance with you, be present with you, just give me some attention. Just for a second, or hours. Acknowledge me please. Please, please do. That would be ever so kind, so kind if you would just. DAMMIT! why are none of you looking at me? You see that I am here, rotting away on this ever so bare wall, why won't you look at me. No you are all to busy looking at… [beat] figures. Wait, is this… They do want me!
MAN
This will never sell.
WOMAN
Well I could have told you that.
MAN
Mary, I know. God, I should have never been so kind-
WOMAN
It's taking up too much space here.
MAN
It's starting to drive off too many customers I think.
WOMAN
I think you are right Dick.
MAN
I think you've never looked so beautiful amongst this hideous painting.
WOMAN
I love how the only way you compliment me is by putting others down.
MAN
I love it how you love how I can only compliment you by putting others down.
WOMAN
It's a great juxtaposition-
MAN
With regard to-
WOMAN
Light and darkness in it's discourse-
MAN
Conceptually activating a deep euphoria et dévastation-
WOMAN
With a hint of lemon-
MAN
Aged in oak. Come lets take this “art” to the back, it won't sell.
WOMAN
Ah, yes, lets.

[Man and Woman pickup then proceed to lift ART offstage]

//Scene 3
IST
We are no good for each other.
ART
For each other?
IST
For me.
ART
No.
IST
For us?
ART
For them?
IST
No.
ART
Of course, do leave them out of it. Will you?
IST
Will you?
ART
“Will you”, what?
IST
I forgot. Oh yes…
ART
No.
IST
But-
ART
No. No Butts.
IST
Right. Poop does cometh from them.
ART
Shit.
IST
Excrement.
ART
Feces, dung, fecal matter!
IST
Defeation, discharge, stool!
ART
Deuce, manure, stool… Wait, no. Stool?
IST
Come again?
ART
“Come again”, what?
IST
I forgot... again?
ART
“Again”, what?
IST
Again, yes again!
ART
No.

[Beat]

IST
We are no good for each other.
ART
I blame them.
IST
Whom?
ART
THEM! I blame them, look at them, all of them, them them them… It's disgusting. They like it too, they get off to it, they just love it don't they.
IST
Do they? Do they really?!
ART
Do you really need them to?
IST
I don't know.
ART
You don't know.
IST
How can I?
ART
How can anyone?
IST
I'll ask them!
ART
Are you mad?!

[beat]

IST
Do you love it? Do you love us?

[wait for response]

ART
UP SHUT!!! [breathe] Wait, no.
IST
SHUT UP?
ART
No. SHUT UP!
[IST claps]
They don't matter.
IST
But- I mean, yes.
ART
And?
IST
And, they really do matter to you.
ART
Don't make this a “me” thing.
IST
I need them and so do you. To live, without them you die. Without them I can't have you.
ART
Sadly.
IST
It can work.
ART
Has it ever?
IST
It's a good idea on paper.
ART
Then draw it.

[IST draws it on ART]
IST
Wait, no… give me a minute.
ART
I'm going to kill myself.
IST
That wouldn't look very nice though.
You do want to look nice for them, no? It wouldn't be fare.
ART
To whom?

[beat]

IST
What must we do?
ART
We can do everything.

[Both IST and ART sit and do absolutely nothing, silent for quite some time.]

IST
Still something.
ART
That's what she said.
IST
What did she say?
ART
I don't remember.
IST
Rememb-er I hardly even-
ART
Know her!
[both laugh, then become disquited]
IST
We aren't good for one and another, you know?
ART
I know.
IST
I remember. I remember the beginning of everything. I was at first lost, following a shadow until I had grown large enough to cast one of my own creation, creation from imitation large enough to overshadow the first. More lost ever so than before, than before. Before, now, afterwords. Everything seemingly to go to pieces at any moment. I will fail, I will always fail, something can, and therefore will go wrong, all wrong. Wrong wrong bong. You were there. You were constant, consistent, I measured existence by you for you for me. We were inseparable… You responsible.
ART
An escape-
IST
A prison.
ART
It's easier this way.
IST
Is it?
ART
Blame me, go on I can take it.
IST
I don't know.
ART
You don't know.
IST
How can I?
ART
How can anyone?


[Beat. IST recedes assimilating into the audience. ART fades away. Fadeout.]

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